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How to Form Better Self-Care Habits: The Ultimate Guide

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by

theodorekorstanje
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Are you trying to form better self-care habits? 

Self-care is different for everybody. So, this article won’t just be a list of suggestions for how to practice self-care. 

Instead, this is a science-backed guide on how to form self-care habits in your daily life. No matter what that looks like for you. 

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What is Self-Care, and Why is it Important?

Self care is anything you could define as taking care of yourself. 

We all practice self-care in its most basic form everyday. We eat, sleep, shower, and breathe. Yes, taking care of basic necessities is still self-care!

Where many of us fall short is taking that next step. While most of us take care of our bodies well enough, we often neglect our mind and soul when it comes to self-care. 

It’s all too common for people to go through entire days focusing on work and countless life admin tasks, never carving out time for themselves. 

This is why forming self-care habits is so important. 

One wonderful analogy for self-care is the oxygen mask on an airplane. Who do you put the oxygen mask on first? Someone else or yourself?

Especially if you’re in the role of a caregiver – which we all are in one way or another – self-care needs to be a priority. If you aren’t giving yourself time to recharge, you won’t be at your best for the people who need you. 

Beyond this, practicing self-care will make you better at dealing with stress when it does come up. Habits that help you practice self-care, help you approach life’s challenges with ease. 

Keep in mind that self-care looks different for everybody, and there is no one right way to practice it. The goal of this guide is to help give you the tools to form self-care habits that work for you and not someone else. 

When to Seek Help

It’s important to recognize that self-care isn’t always enough. 

Sometimes we go through things where we need some extra help, and that’s ok. 

You may be experiencing symptoms that feel out of your control, including: 

  • Sleeping too much or too little
  • Eating too much or too little
  • A lack of energy
  • Unexplained pain or aches
  • Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worry

If this is the case, talk to your doctor as soon as possible. They can then help you take the next steps in getting treatment. 

If you’re experiencing a crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (988). Or, talk online at 988lifeline.org. This service is available 24/7 and is completely confidential and free. 

How to Form Self-Care Habits

Forming self-care habits is much more than following a cookie-cutter list of suggestions. To add self-care into your daily routine, you need to understand the science behind habits. These are the same rules we used in our guide to forming better cleaning habits, and the foundation of our cleaning system Home, Clean Home.

My knowledge of habits is based on the work of James Clear, author of Atomic Habits. This book is a valuable resource for understanding what habits are, and how they work. 

In his book, Clear outlines the 4 laws of habits, which are:

  • Make it obvious
  • Make it attractive
  • Make it easy
  • Make it satisfying

Below, we’ll be going over how these 4 points relate to forming self-care habits. 

If you’re interested in learning more about self-care, I recommend reading Clear’s whole book. You can buy a copy, or listen for free with an audible trial🙂

Make it Obvious

This involves giving yourself cues to practice self-care. By assuming you’ll remember to practice self-care on your own, more often than not you can let it pass by the wayside. 

If you keep a daily to-do list or weekly plan, include scheduled time for self-care. Add a daily reminder on your phone, or add a note on a whiteboard to set aside some time for yourself. 

You can also “habit-stack” self-care on top of routines you already have. Combine habits with things like waking up in the morning or winding down for bed. This is a great way to form habits on autopilot. 

However you go about it, try and make practicing self-care as easy to remember as you can. 

Make it Attractive

Next, you want to make sure practicing self-care is super appealing. With self-care being a way to prioritize your needs, this shouldn’t be too tough. 

To make self-care more attractive, buy a “self-gift” to use in your self-care routine. This could be essential oils, a  candle, or anything that encourages you to look after yourself. See below for our full “self-gift” guide!

Make it Easy

Once you’ve reminded yourself to practice self-care, and made it appealing, you need to make it easy to do. 

This could involve keeping everything you need to practice self-care ready and set up for you. 

For example, maybe your self-care is spending some time reading and relaxing. You could have a space set up – books, blankets, candles etc. – to make it as ready to use as possible. This helps you avoid the resistance of gathering what you need to relax. 

Or, if you’re spending some time with a friend, invite them over to your house so there’s no resistance. (Bonus points if you meet at the same time every week as a cue!)

If you find yourself resistant to spending much time on self-care, then start slow. Clear recommends starting out with as little as 2 minutes a day to establish the habit. This length of time is perfect for forming habits like meditation, or journaling!

Whatever self-care habit you plan on forming, make sure it’s as easy to follow-through on as possible.

Make it Satisfying

Finally, you’ll want to make following through on your habits rewarding. 

The relaxation and stress-relief of practicing self-care may be rewarding enough for some. Yet, adding another layer to this can help better establish habits. 

One free and easy way to do this is to start using a habit-tracking system. It can be as simple as creating a document where you mark a check every time you complete a habit. Seeing the checks stack up is super satisfying. It will also hold you accountable to stay consistent!

You could also just congratulate yourself for following through instead. Or give yourself a small treat. Whatever works for you!

Overcoming Barriers to Practicing Self-Care

While using the science of habits to practice self-care is useful, you may need some extra help. For some people, taking time for self-care feels impossible. While this won’t apply to everyone, if this sounds like you – this section is for you. 

Below we’ll be covering some strategies for overcoming a resistance to self-care.

Set Time Aside for Yourself

One of the most common reasons people don’t practice self-care is that they don’t have enough time. 

With everyone being busy in one way or another, it may not feel right to take time off to relax. Practicing self-care helps with resiliency, making it more productive than you may think. 

Regardless, if you struggle to find time for self-care – add it into your schedule. Pencil in time for self-care the same way you would for an important task. This way you will have no excuse not to follow-through. 

This is explained by Social Work professor Shari Robinson-Lynk. She says, “scheduling time for self-care is just as important as scheduling time for everything else. Hoping and waiting until you have time means you rarely have the time to do it.”

Remind Yourself you Deserve to be Taken Care of

This is a tough one. 

If you don’t think you’re deserving of self-care, it will be much more difficult to establish self-care habits. There are a few ways you can go about changing this. 

Try starting with what I call “sneaky self-care”. This means you won’t practice self-care in the same all out self-love way that some people do. Instead, start slow and simple. 

Meditate for a few minutes. Go for a jog. Make a healthier choice. It doesn’t have to be too much. 

But, if you’re struggling with feeling worthy of self-love, that’s a bigger problem that needs to be addressed. Self reflect on why you feel this way through a journal. If this doesn’t help, consider talking with a therapist about your problems. 

Wherever you’re at in your self-care journey is ok. Just remember that everybody – and I mean everybody – is worthy of practicing self-care. 

Recognize how Beneficial Self-Care is

If you’re struggling to see the point of self-care, remember that it will ripple out across your life. 

By having self-care habits you can rely upon, you’re better able to cope with stressful situations. It’s always a good idea to seek help if you’re overwhelmed, but practicing self-care can make you more resilient. 

Self-care is a large part of leading an overall healthy lifestyle. As clinical psychologist Kaylee Crockett, Ph. D says, “Self-care is important because it enhances our well-being by keeping us connected to ourselves and what matters most to us. It can help prevent illnesses from occurring or recurring, and it builds our capacity to handle stress and recover from adversity.” 

Try and Break Bad Habits

Another thing that may distract from self-care are bad habits you have. Also, breaking a bad habit can be one of the best ways to start practicing self-care!

Now, I’d like to make it clear that this is not at all coming from a place of judgment whatsoever. But, there are plenty of bad habits that may stop someone from practicing self-care. These range from alcohol use, to scrolling on your phone. 

We all likely have a few things like this we want to change. Luckily, Clear’s habit system works just as well for breaking old habits as it does for forming new ones. Simply reverse the 4 laws of habits to make them look something like this:

  • Make it invisible
  • Make it unattractive
  • Make it difficult
  • Make it unsatisfying

Breaking habits is a whole topic for another day. But, by following these guidelines, you can be well on your way to altering your habits however you please. 

19 Self-Care Habits to Form

We’ve covered what self-care is, the science behind forming habits, and some barriers to self care. Let’s go over some ideas as to what self-care might look like for you. 

I want to stress that self-care is different for everybody. What works for me might not work for you. But, I’ve tried to make this list broad so you can find at least 1 thing to habitualize in your life. I’ll be going over each option, as well as giving you some quick suggestions for forming habits. These will include habit-stack options, as well as ways to make them easier!

As a quick side note, they’ve been broken into 2 categories: daily and weekly habits. Most of the daily habits take anywhere from a couple of seconds to an hour. They also need minimal planning to execute. The weekly tasks are more involved, making them easier to habitualize if they’re spaced out. These timeframes are just a suggestion, and you should do whatever feels right for you. 

11 Daily Self-Care Habits

Get Outside 

One of the most recognized ways to give your mind a reset is to get outside. Whether it’s going for a walk, or just sitting outside. Getting some sunlight can make a huge difference in your mood. 

I recommend “habit-stacking” this with getting up in the morning. Getting sunlight first thing in the morning helps with all sorts of things. These include better sleep, and increased serotonin. Morning light may even be as effective as a pharmaceutical antidepressant!

Exercise 

If you’re already getting outside in the morning, a habit-stack idea is to get some exercise in as well! Whether you’re going for a short walk, or a long run, exercise has a ton of benefits.

These include reducing anxiety, and negative moods, as well as improving self-esteem and brain function. This makes it one of the most science-backed and effective tools for self care!

If you want an especially relaxing form of exercise, consider trying out yoga. This combines exercise with breathwork and meditation. 

Exercise can also be a way to spend time with your friends. Whether it be for a game of tennis, or a gym session, exercising can be a lot more fun with someone else!

Eat Right & Stay Hydrated 

Keep up the momentum of daily exercise by eating well and staying hydrated! You already eat throughout the day, so why not make it a habit to eat a bit healthier! If you’re struggling with healthy meals, check out our list of suggestions here!

It’s important to note for this and exercise that you shouldn’t go overboard or feel any guilt if this is tough for you! Try starting slow, and make gradual changes. As Clear suggests, try and make a 1% improvement overtime!

Journal 

Journalling is a way to clear your mind, and work through things going on in your life. 

To make it more obvious and easy for you, leave a journal out where you can see it. Or, consider journaling in the notes app on your phone whenever you get the chance!

This is a great self-care habit to start with, as you can jot down a few thoughts everyday to begin forming the habit. As Clear recommends, try starting with as little as 2 minutes a day, and go from there. 

Write Down Compliments 

This is something you can add on to journaling. Begin writing down any compliments you hear throughout the day. 

This one has a built-in cue which makes it easier to habitualize. Whenever somebody says something nice about you, jot it down on your phone or in a journal. 

This will give you a database of compliments you can look back on for a quick boost of self-esteem. 

Unplug  

Consider spending less time on your phone as a form of self-care. For many of us, the second we get a bit of down time we reach for our devices. 

Spending more time unplugged has a ton of benefits. It will improve present-moment awareness, sleep quality, and help deepen connections with others.  

You can replace your screen time with one of the other suggestions on this list for a double dose of self-care!

Meditate/Breathe 

Meditation and breathwork is another habit that only takes a few minutes to incorporate. Just a few minutes of deep breathing, can help evoke a relaxation response. 

If you don’t know where to start, there’s an app for guiding breathwork called State. It has modes for helping you feel alert, be present, feel calm, and to fall asleep. To make things easier, you can receive daily notifications from the app. 

On top of breathwork, consider adding in mindfulness meditation to your daily routine. It is a practice that involves keeping your thoughts grounded. It has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall health.

Yoga is a way to combine meditation, breathwork, and exercise into one activity!

Read 

For most people, the peak of relaxation is settling down with a good book. On top of how relaxing this activity can be, there are tons of benefits to reading. These include strengthening the brain, and  improving communication skills. 

To make it easy to read, keep whatever book you’re reading with you as much as possible. This will serve as a reminder to take a break and read for even just a few minutes each day. 

If you’re not one for physical books, consider trying out Audible! With this link you can get a free 30-day trial to see if you enjoy it:)

Sleep 

Without enough sleep, you’re sacrificing your quality of life. Out of everything on this list, sleep may be the most beneficial form of self-care. 

Getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night will go a long way in benefiting almost every area of your life. From energy levels, to memory, how well you’re able to learn, and beyond. 

Take a Break 

This goes for you who work 24/7, whether it’s at your job or at home. Regardless of what labor you’re doing – you deserve a break!

Make it a habit to take a bit of time for yourself to unwind. Consider trying the Pomodoro Technique to make short breaks a part of your daily routine. This involves taking a 5 minute break for every 25 minutes of work you do!

In your time off, try incorporating one of the other self-care tasks we’ve outlined above!

Spend Some Time with a Pet

Because, let’s be honest, what’s more relaxing than spending a few minutes with your pet? 

If you have a dog, walking them daily is a way to habit-stack this with getting outside and exercising!

Whatever furry, feathered, or scaled friend you have, take a few minutes to enjoy your pets’ company.

8 Weekly Self-Care Habits

Take a Spa Day

Whether it’s at a spa if your budget allows it, or a DIY setup at home, treat yourself to a few hours of pure relaxation. 

While the atmosphere of a spa is ideal for relaxing, you can mimic that environment at home just as well! Get into a robe and some comfy slippers, get a face mask, draw yourself a bath.

This is the perfect way to let all your responsibilities fade away for a few hours and fully focus on yourself.

Get a Massage 

This ties in with the last suggestion! While massages are amazing, they’re more of a once-in-a-while treat rather than a weekly habit. 

Because of this, consider getting yourself a massage gun that can mimic the real thing! This is a one-time expense that can pay for itself in hours of relaxation down the road. 

Go to Therapy 

If you’re going through something that a spa day can’t take care of, therapy may be for you. Most therapists will book you in for regular appointments making it easy to form a habit of going. 

Therapy is expensive, so it isn’t accessible to everyone. But, there are some cheaper online alternatives available like Betterhelp.com!

Take Some Time Off 

Once again, this goes out to people on a 24/7 grind. Consider taking a day or 2 each week to do nothing. 

I know this isn’t realistic for a lot of people. But having a few hours to focus on yourself can go a long way in helping you relax and recharge. 

Consider adding this time off to your schedule so you have no excuse to not relax every week. 

Do a Deep Clean of your House

I know. Cleaning & Self-Care? What gives?

But, keeping a clean space goes such a long way in boosting your mood. After all, who wants to relax in a dirty house?

Do you struggle with keeping good cleaning habits? Then check out our recent article all about this! Also, consider downloading our custom cleaning schedule Home, Clean Home for free down below!

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Treat Yourself 

Anyone who’s watched Parks & Rec will know what I’m talking about. While you don’t have to go all out like Donna and Tom, the sentiment is the same. 

Buy something you want, go out to eat somewhere nice, or indulge in something smaller. Whatever it looks like for you, habitualize treating yourself as self-care. Just be sure you’re still keeping your budget in mind!

Spend Some Time on a Hobby 

Some people don’t enjoy self-care because they can’t stand not being productive. If that sounds like you, get the best of both worlds by spending some time on a hobby. 

Whether it’s learning to paint, or practicing the piano – whatever floats your boat works!

While this could be a daily thing, consider signing up for some classes to make it a weekly habit. And if in-person classes aren’t your thing, Skillshare has a ton of courses for everything you can think of. 

Spend Time With Loved Ones

One of the most important ways to practice self-care is to spend some time with friends and family.

Ideally you should be in the moment, and enjoying the time you have with these people. Do something fun and productive, like exercising, or doing a hobby you both enjoy. 

While everyone has unique needs, remember that humans are social creatures. That makes this one of the most important ways to practice self-care out there. 

9+ Self-Care Gifts to Treat Yourself With

Treating yourself to something you want can be a form of self-care in and of itself. But, this guide will be focusing on things that will help you practice self-care instead. Most of the gifts are closely related to one or more of the self-care habits outlined above. 

Massage Gun

A high-quality massage gun will cost you less than a single professional massage. While it’s not exactly the same, it should last you for years and provide countless hours of relaxation!

Books

If you’re looking to read more as a form of self-care, buy a book that’s been on your to-read list for a long time! If you don’t know where to start, why not check out Atomic Habits. It’s the foundation for much of the science behind this article after all!

Maybe  you’re not one for physical books, or you just want to save some money. In this case, consider signing up for a free trial of Audible instead!

Journal

Buying yourself a really nice journal is the perfect way to make the habit more attractive. Using the notes app on your phone or a dollar store journal will work just as well. But, investing in a high-quality notebook might help you be more drawn to the activity. 

A Robe or other Cozy Things

Ahh, the classic self-care gift. Changing into these comfy clothes will act as a great cue for slipping into self-care mode. Consider a robe, slippers, pajamas, a blanket, or anything else that sounds extra cozy to you. 

Spa Products

A perfect pairing for the self-gifts listed above, consider some products for a home spa day. Whether it’s a face mask, bath bomb, or even just some scented candles for atmosphere. 

A Spa Day or Massage

Of course, if you can afford it there’s nothing better than a full on spa day or massage. While pampering yourself at home is a great alternative, splurging on the real deal is a true treat. 

Therapy

Seeing therapy as a gift for yourself is a unique way to appreciate just how impactful it can be. Consider it a massage for your brain!

Traditional therapy can be expensive, but there are plenty of cheaper alternatives available. Consider checking out betterhelp.com!

A Course

Finally, if you want to focus more on a hobby of yours, buy a course to help you improve! This can be something like a class at a local art school, or music lessons! This is also a great way to meet new people and socialize. 

If you’re not into the idea of in-person classes, check out Skillshare for a ton of great courses instead!

Conclusion

Prioritizing self-care can be tough. Forming habits around it, and having a plan makes it a lot easier. 

There are a ton of things that can be classified as self-care. So don’t make excuses any longer. You deserve to take care of yourself. Hopefully this guide was able to help!

If you want some more help dealing with life admin, check out our full guide here, as well as some of our other resources below.

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